California King Bed by Rihanna

Song Analysis

This is song is all about physical intimacy, but no real intimacy.

She is scared to say she loves him because 'she can appear weak.'

What kind of relationship is this? You might ask.

Within the vicinity of marriage sex to be shared with someone deserving....that will give their last name, their wealth, share their life. It is a relationship in which wife leans on husband, husband leans on wife. They learn to trust each other.  Being vulnerable is okay. It's a safe space.

Having sex without marriage, you are sharing the preciousness of your body with a stranger.  This act does not 'keep a man' as one would suspect.  This is a little trick that guys use to get the control back from women. But you choose who to give your treasures to.

This extreme physical intimacy can be confusing for women, the more emotional beings. They have all these emotions and the guys, having an uncanny ability to separate sex from love, cannot understand the feelings women are experiencing.

She feels weak. A line commonly said when it comes to emotions. Knees shake, palms sweat, emotions can make you feel out of sorts.

The song cleverly makes reference to the 'close' intimacy shared. Notice that are all intimacy shared in the song is physical:

'nose to nose, cheek to cheek'

She doesn't understand why this doesn't equate to feeling 'close,' a contradiction to the closeness they just shared.  Bodies together and the man entering the private insides of a woman. The woman 'giving it up' as called in this generation is a gift to be treasured.

Guys, being used to getting a woman's worth, don't make note of it. But it's still precious. Boys grow into men who think they should trick girls to give them everything without any commitment from them.

There are women who go so far as to take the male role in the relationship. They provide for the family, they take care of the kids. And the husband gets mad, because she's too tired at the end of the day to fuck him. Whyyyyy they whine. Get over it. Be a man, handle your own and then be her comfort, not another thing to do in her long to do list.

True intimacy is shared. A couple so attuned they complement each other, make each other better. Woman holding up her man. Man taking care of his woman, being faithful and loyal. A woman will give her all he loved and cherished. Men want to be respected, this is sometimes more important than love.

'Distance between us'. Great line. This is not physical, this line hints at the realization that there is more to intimacy than just physical.

'On this California king bed we are more than 10,000 miles apart'

This is not referring to physical intimacy, because the guy is obviously close to her next to her in bed.
But his heart is far.

Guys then learn to have multiple partners. The more partners the more the need to disassociate themselves from them. Physical act without pinch of  emotions. A guy feels that he needs to have experience to 'become a man.'

She is talking about desiring a more intimate closeness, she doesn't just want his body. She wants his heart as well. But she doesn't feel comfortable enough to tell him, and she realizes the unlikeliness that she will ever get his heart.

'I've been California wishing for your heart for me'

Any girl who has ever had a booty call can relate this. You have a guy's body but not his heart. Women when they give their body they also give their heart. That is why promiscous people get confused. Sharing bed is sharing your  soul. Like a transaction between soul mates, in knowing each other, the soul is split into two. Now the person leaves with a part of you.

This is why some women feel like trash after sex. You give so much, and when it's not recognized it feels like your worth went down the drain. Your value is worn. But a flower no matter how much is crushed it's still a flower. You are still precious.

  The soul is joined to the other person, a simple transaction that happens during sex.  So Rihanna  seeks 'for his heart' but recognizes it's '10,000 miles apart.'

She is afraid of being vulnerable and saying that she loves him. So she keeps it on, feeling rejected, trashy, and empty. Trying to play that off.

On the California King Bed video, when Rihanna sings that part she is away from him and the bed, she's on her own. The only place she can admit, that she loves him.  Without the confusion of endorphins going through the body and the physical closeness that women related to being loved. She looks into his eyes for comfort. She realizes, he has none to offer her. He has no answers. Just an animalistic drive  that seeks to be pleasured,  at her cost.

Girl looking into the guy asking herself: Where are we going with this? Do you still love me? Did you ever love me? Am I just sex to you? Are we something more?

 Don't confuse sex for love. Love, in its complete self, is complete acceptance of self.  The hiding of the true emotions of the heart in this song hints at the lack of real intimacy.  If there is no foundation, no commitment, the person is afraid to admit their feelings then they are obviously sleeping with a stranger.  An undeserving stranger. Why give away your worth?


Women you have to realize your worth or like Rihanna you'll end up alone like the end of the song. California dreaming for intimacy, but having none.